A look back at 2005 or Okay, its time to talk wrestling, baby.

Ladies and Gentleman... it is Year in Review time.

I first apologize to anybody who reads this without hearing me in real life. This blog will most likely come off as a bad Joe Pesci monolauge. Even then, keep reading, I will say the word "midget" 4 times. Thats one.

I am going to hit the non-wrestling stuff first so we can get to the bitching as soon as possible. (Scroll down, it starts in big bold letters. Personally, the year 2005 brought on new beginnings, final goodbyes, and a personal high as far as other people are concerned. My family grew HUGE this year.

Top of the list is that 28 days into 2005, I got together with Kelly, and have been ever since. That immediately was indicator that 2005 would rock where 2004 totally blew ass. This is the non-wrestling high point of the year. Actuall,y the overall high point of the year, to cover my ass. I love alot, and many people... but her the most. Welcome to my life, and the family, baby. Good luck getting out... trust me, it can't be done.

From there, I solidified another relationship. I became best friends, and then eventually, brothers, with Simon. He accents this family with his personallity so well that at times its just worth watching from the outside. He's eccentric, paranoid, loud and creative... thats the family it a nutshell. Welcome to the familia, Simon.

Also, welcome Sarge.

I ahve become better friends with some very good people as well. Ian, the only person I still talk to from high school, and I, have become closer, and for that, I am thankful. Its a good man to talk to when you just need to argue, and a better man to talk to when you just want to listen.

Then, theres Herb Jones, who everyday becomes more and more the other side of my brain. Herb Jones crossed that perverbial line this year where he cuts me off in mid-sentence and finishes it, and knows what I am thinking when even I don't. Herb is already a member of the family, or I'd welcome... again.

Midget... that's two.

Jeff Vandergrift, and for that matter, Melissa, and also new additions. I could not pick one human being I trust more with my brain-children then Jeff. Plus hearing " You just got Vanderfuct, ASIA!" Will never leave me... ever.

Three projects for films were started in 2005, one finished. Better than 2004's ratio of 0-0.

And the CD is almost done... keep tuned.

AND NOW FOR THE WRESTLING PART, SPIDEY-FANS.

The year 2005 started out so damn promising in the WWE. HHH won the belt again, Batista wins the Rumble and they tease Angle/HBK. Then, after an awesome Wrestlemania, we get crappy PPV's, until Vengence, which was great. Then Summerslam was awesome. The rest of the year has sucked for the WWE. However, the year was not lost.

2005 was the year of the Rise of TNA. Samoa Joe, Christopher Daniels, Chris Sabin, AMW, Team Canada, The Canadian Destroyer... the list goes on. TNA's time is now.

And now for my year end awards, cleverly dubbed.....

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Noah's YEAR END AWARDS... ha, I love false build-up. Midget... three.

Let's start big and then go from there:

Wrestling Brand of the Year: Total Non Stop Action

 My reasoning? I am a wrestling fan. WWE subjects me to too much crap, Viscera, and took away me dosage of Muhammed Hassan. I am pissed off.

Runner-up: RAW

2004 Winner: RAW

Feud of the Year: Matt Hardy/Edge/Lita

Simply put, this storyline capitalized of real life events that propelled both Edge and Matt Hardy into main event status. No other fued this year has done that.

Runner-up: Sabu-Abyss

2004 Winner: HBK/HHH

Moment of the Year: Hogan vs HBk, The Finish, Summerslam 2005

This is biased because I was there... and I cried.

Runner-up: HBK taps at Wrestlemania.

2004 Winner: Benoit wins at Wrestlemania XX

Wrestler of the Year: Muhammed Hassan

No other worker in history has gotten so much legitimate heat that the NETWORK pulls then off the air. Enough for my vote... plus, this guy work head line matches with Michaels, Hogan, Undertaker, JBL, Benoit, and Booker T, among others.

Runner-up: Samoa Joe

2004 Winner: Randy Orton

Match of the Year: TIE - Angle vs Michaels, WM 21 & Chris Sabin/Matt Bentley/Austin Aries/Sonjay Dutt vs Christopher Daniels/Alex Shelly/Roderick Strong/Samoa Joe

I couldn't decide. Angle/Michaels was technical, perfect, and damn near the best non-title WM match I've ever seen. But, the Elimination X match was clever, hard-hitting, and suprisingly psychological for a high-spots style that is the X division. Plus, the destructionof Daniels after the match is just was wicked as watching HBK tap out.

Runner-up: HHH vs Batista, Hell in a Cell or Samoa Joe vs AJ Styles

2004 Winner: HBK vs HHH vs Benoit, Wrestlemania XX

Comeback of the Year: ECW

With the best WWE PPV of the year, ECW deserves this fully. No question.

Runner-up: Hulk Hogan

2004 Winner: Eddie Guerrero

Breakthrough of the year: Chris Masters

The only reason he wins is because he showed up a nobody, improved 4x, and now works like a champ. The runner-up showed up good. Thats it. See award below.

Runner-Up: Samoa Joe

2004 Winner: Randy Orton

Major Debut of the Year: Samoa Joe

There, its even now.

Runner-up: Chris Masters

2004 Winner: Shelton Benjamin's Debut on RAW

Most idiodic thing of the year: The Boogeyman

Runner-up: Rey/Eddie Custody Battle

2004 Winner: John Cena wins the WWE Title.

"Fall from Grace"Award: Vince McMahon

Runner-up: Eric Bischoff

2004 Winner: Kane

Who to look for in 2006: Alex Shelly, Shelton Benjamin, Edge

2004 "Who to Look for in 2005": Shelton Benjamin, Christian, Batista

2005 Awesome Moment Awards:

Christian Jumps to TNA

Matt Hardy Comes Back

HHH Makes it Ten

Hell in a Cell, Vengeance 2005

Thanks for reading.

R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero (1968 - 2005)

This blog/post is dedicated to the now late Eddie Guerrero.

Early this morning, I was awoken to the deeply sombering line: "Eddie Guerrero is Dead."

My friend Ian called me to tell me. Now, I am not going to go into this too much, as its still very tender and very painful. I am just going to say this, for any who care to read it...

I remember watching Eddie Guerrero wrestle Dean Malenko on ECW tv back in the mid-nineties. I didn't pay much attention then, to be honest with you. I was new to the art of pro wrestling. But, thanks in large to part to the late, great Guerrero, watching wrestling became much more than violence, or entertainment.

I remember the exact pay per view. WCW Bash at the Beach 1996. Three matches turned me on to a deeper side of the sport, a side I now not only love, but am too a student of. The first was Rey Mysterio Jr. vs Psicosis. The next, Harlem Heat vs The American Males. And third, Eddie Guerrero vs Chris Benoit.

Over the remaining years between then and now, very rarely did I ever turn off an Eddie match. If I did, it was during his damn program with Chyna in 2001. That was awful booking. Anyway, I can remeber Drew and I having a conversation not more than a month ago, maybe sooner, about how crappy the WWE is. There are only a few matches on a PPV we will buy for. One of the wrestlers we mentioned in those matches was Eddie Guerrero.

As a wrestler and, most important, a fan, I will say this: Eddie always put on a damn good match. I was never not entertained when I watched Eddie, and towards the last few years, he went from solid midcard talent, to solid main event talent.

I am going to conclude this blog with two things. One, a list of all the Eddie matches I've loved that I can come up with off the top of my head. Two, and the one I'll do right now, leave one final message to Eddie Guerrero, with hopes that someway, somehow, he'll get it.

Eddie, I just, from the bottom of my heart, and those who have had the pleasure of watching for the last 20 years... thank you. Thank you for every match, every promo, every second. Thank you for overcomig injuries and addiction, racism and politics, so you could do what you love, and we love to watch you do every night. For those of us who study the game, your work will be a lasting lesson that we will take to heart everytime we're in that ring. I know I will. Next time I work, Eddie, I'll hit an Amigo, or two, or three, then a Frog Splash. And if I am lucky enough to go over, I'll point to the sky and hope, that after you read this, you'll watch out, and watch the match. Keep your hands clean, and chin up, cuase trust me... one day, I'll see you around... and then we can see who is better. My guess... you, forever. With much respect and admiration, Noah Brown.

Eddie vs Chris Benoit, Bash at the Beach

Eddie vs Brock Lesnar, No Way Out 2004 (Eddie wins his first and only World Championship)

Eddie vs Kurt Angle, Wrestlemania 20

Eddie and Chavo vs Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle, Royal Rumble 2003

Eddie, Psicosis, and Juvi vs Rey Rey, Chavo, and Billy Kidman, WCW Nitro

Eddie vs Chris Jericho, WWF Raw, April 2000

Eddie vs Ken Kennedy, November 11, 2005 (Eddie's last televised match)

Eddie vs Rey Rey, WM 21

Eddie vs Rey, Summerslam 2005, Ladder Match

And to end the list, though it isn't a match, I was honored to be there for it: Eddie Guerrero makes his WWF debut, January 31, 2000, in Pittsburgh, PA.

RIP Eddie. Enjoy the new music, peeps.

Currently Watching Home Movies - Season One see related

Pornography and the Downfall of Senior Citizen Masterbation

Warning: This is going to be one of those rare occasions where I cease to use my Xanga to make fun of you people and actually talk about something important. Well, important for me. Which means that, most likely, it will also be gibberish. Enjoy mother fucker.

I just realised today that the Internet has destroyed America's most sacred and valued retail division: The Adult Video and Book Store. This loved nd honored instituion has now been all-but-demolished thanks to the availability of "free Internet Porn".

Here is some quick (and legit) info about the two rivals: The First Adult book store (and by that I mean store devoted solely to adult literature and materials considered to be pornographic) was started in 1874 in New York City. Owned by a struggling but intelligent English immigrant, the store was bought out in 1885. THe owners deciced to close it down just a few years later, before the property was again sold. What stands in it's place now? Macy's. The oldest adult site on the internet still running today is www.AdultIndia.org, stared at least in 1993 (exact date unknown.) And while this is hardly a free site that attracts the majority of viewers/customers, it's still an old ass porn website.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have no problem with the "20 second wonder" sites, however, I still do not like the concept any one being forced out of their longstanding buisness... especially one who's top-selling products include the words "juggs", "double-headed", and "horses".

I feel that we as American citizens should band together, and while supporting the free porn, lend a helping hand to Johnny Porn-Shop. (Though, in those places, watch what you touch... even the guys who work there.)

Thank you, that is all.

Oh, and BTW, Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhh!!!

Agh LADDIE!!!!!!!!!!!

So, another day in the life of a Highlander has concluded. I am about to conduct a long night's rest, after a hard day's work... but first, the tales of my day:

First, the boys and I (McDougal, MacCloud, MacGregor, and Ronald McDonald) went on an early morning raid. We pillaged... we raveged... we ate some cookies... but mostly, we just ran around a small field yelping all day.

However, our fun was cut shrot when MacGregor cut hif finger on a thorn bush. Our day then became a great quest, in search of... a BAND-AID!

Oh, how the perils of the terrain affected us all. McDougal fell mad with the fever, and we had to eat Ronald McDonald to stay alive (and despite what you'd think, he was actually quite fresh, and filling.) In the end, after 4 hours of long, hard searching, we failed to find a Band-Air, and MacGregor bled to death.

A full day, and now, I must crawl into the fetal positional, and cry myself to sleep to the sweet tunes of bagpipes 'a' blaring.

Okay, so...

This is that "blogging" thing. Yeah...

Well, I don't get what the big deal is. I know that every angry 15-year old girl with an affinity for emo-rock has one, and every 19 year old guy who hits on said 15-year old (you know who you are) has one too, but so far, I am vastly unimpressed. However, I am open-minded.

On a side note, I think I am going to start wearing short, khaki bicycle shorts around. Oh, how Erik Estrada would be proud. For those of you too young to know, thats 's CHiPs reference. For those old enough to know, why exactly are you blogging? Go pierce your ear and date Calista Flockheart! (Damn you, Han Solo... damn you.)

I want to get a tattoo of Boba Fett. Right on my arm. The Fett-man is sweet.

Well, that's it for the inaugural post. I leave you with this request: To any young men reading this who are over the age of 18, or are soon to be, remember this: If they are 16 or younger, it is illegal. Especially is you put your willy wong in any doo-pa-doo. Thank you.